Manipulation Tools Can Also Be Used To Empower.

Tell them, but keep it to facts.

You can outright tell someone if you think they are being lied to, cheated on, robbed. Telling someone your opinion of how you think things are is more effective if they trust you more than the lie you are exposing. They believe what they know. They think they can trust what they know. If they don’t know you and you just tell them the truth, as you see it, they may or may not hear you or believe you. You might be the only person in their life that is wise enough to see the situation for what it is. You want them to continue trusting you. It is in our nature in conversation to take the opposite stance.

Ask questions that make them think.

Another approach to consider is asking questions. If it is a person or organization that they have already decided is trustworthy, this can be difficult if they can’t or won’t see it with their own eyes. Asking questions works because you are not already making a type of accusation that they could be in denial about. The question is innocent. It allows the crack of light in the darkness to reveal what they have not considered. You must be a neutral party. If they believe you are against what they believe, they will know your questions to be leading.

For example consider telling someone that adores someone that that person is stealing from them versus asking them, Where is your money? Where is your wallet? And leading them to figure out by further innocent questions. ‘Where did you go?’ ‘Did you leave your purse anywhere?’ ‘Who else has access to your bank accounts?’ Who could get access to your bank accounts?’ ‘Do you check your bank statements for transactions?’

Any relationship can be blinding. If you are able to wake up in one, that skill can be like dominoes in your life. The knowledge is like a weapon that can be used to clear out time wasters. A romantic relationship can be especially painful. Consider telling someone that adores their partner that they are being cheated on or robbed by that person. (If someone has been cheated on, they are more likely to believe it. In that case, I would check their facts and make sure they don’t have something to gain from you believing that.) They would have to trust you more than they adore that person or be wise enough to take considerations. Perhaps you ask them, Where are they now? When do they ask you out? What do you do usually? The answer reveals it and makes you still in their corner. If someone is in denial the questions allow them to reveal it to themselves in their time.

Tell stories.

Tell your story. Share something of value. If they are especially blind, include a connection or similarity they can relate to. Hearing how someone else is treated can be the best way for a person to naturally make their own conclusions. They may also then make excuses for the person they love, but it is a seed. In some areas of our lives, the comparison game is not something that is helpful; however, it can be a tool to be used for freedom.

There have been stories portrayed in TV shows in recent years that suggested that you shouldn’t tell someone they are being cheated on by a partner because they would be ‘mad at you’, ‘they might not leave’, you ‘shouldn’t get involved.’ The opinions we hear can really shape our outlook. Even a popular tv show portrayed a wife that was very angry at her son for revealing that the father was cheating… Makes me wonder who wrote that story?

Consider the golden rule. When the truth comes out, how would you feel knowing that your best friend, your friend’s friend, your neighbor, your close coworker knew and did nothing about it. Imagine that feeling…